The Ministry of Riddles.
It was undeniable. He was in love with the World Leader. Riddle Master Lans watched the World Leader lovingly as he brusquely rotated the book in his strong, shapely hands.
"Oh no, sir, please don't do that!" Lans spoke up to stop the World Leader from opening the comically large latch keeping the book shut.
"Why not?" The World Leader asked, slightly insulted. "And don't tell me about the reports. I've read the reports. I don't believe them, or you."
Lans had already opened his mouth during the World Leader's rebuke to defend himself. "Sir I can tell you, with the full authority of The Ministry of Questions and Conundrums, that the reports are 100% true." Lans's upper lip swallowed up the lower in a cheeky grin. The World Leader remained unconvinced.
"You mean to tell me, Lans, that the answer to life's meaning is funny?"
"I saw it with my own eyes, your grace. The moment that RM Tuyen laid eye upon the answer, he broke out into a laughter so uncontrollable that his diaphragm wore out. Tuyen died of auto-asphyxiation, and not the sexy kind." Lans managed to catch himself before grinning again. The World Leader obviously didn't find his joke amusing.
"Right. Well, I'm glad that you're able to make light of Mr. Tuyem's death."
"Um, Mr. Tuyen, sir. With an 'n'."
"Lans, do you really expect me to believe that this stupid book actually does what you say? Furthermore, your agency has failed to deliver on every front for years. Whatever happened to the riddle about flamingos and yo-yos? Whatever happened to the one about whales and hyperspace? And now, finally, you manage to turn up with a book that contains answers to some of our kind's most belabored questions about existence, and I can't even read it?" Lans took the criticism stoically. It helped that the World Leader had the deepest pools of green-gray for irises. "This is why I've chosen to dissolve your Ministry, Lans. Effective next cycle, you'll be shut down."
"Are you sure that's a good idea, World Leader? You've already made some treacherous waves after shutting down the Ministries of Health, Renewable Energy, and Occupation. Are you sure shutting down the next most popular agency in the world will grant you any praise?"
"Lans, when I want an editorial, I'll have the Engelton Broadcasting Company write it. Now get over here and open this damn book."
"Right away, sir," said Lans with a grin. Lans pulled out a comically-large key and unhooked the book's latch. "I just have one question for you."
The World Leader whisked through the book's pages like a toddler with his favorite picture book. "What?" said the World Leader without looking up.
"Where did Napoleon keep his chickens?" As he read, the World Leader's angry expression turned to a blank one, and then one of unfettered and irrational joy.
"In a coup de grace."
The World Leader burst out laughing.
"Oh no, sir, please don't do that!" Lans spoke up to stop the World Leader from opening the comically large latch keeping the book shut.
"Why not?" The World Leader asked, slightly insulted. "And don't tell me about the reports. I've read the reports. I don't believe them, or you."
Lans had already opened his mouth during the World Leader's rebuke to defend himself. "Sir I can tell you, with the full authority of The Ministry of Questions and Conundrums, that the reports are 100% true." Lans's upper lip swallowed up the lower in a cheeky grin. The World Leader remained unconvinced.
"You mean to tell me, Lans, that the answer to life's meaning is funny?"
"I saw it with my own eyes, your grace. The moment that RM Tuyen laid eye upon the answer, he broke out into a laughter so uncontrollable that his diaphragm wore out. Tuyen died of auto-asphyxiation, and not the sexy kind." Lans managed to catch himself before grinning again. The World Leader obviously didn't find his joke amusing.
"Right. Well, I'm glad that you're able to make light of Mr. Tuyem's death."
"Um, Mr. Tuyen, sir. With an 'n'."
"Lans, do you really expect me to believe that this stupid book actually does what you say? Furthermore, your agency has failed to deliver on every front for years. Whatever happened to the riddle about flamingos and yo-yos? Whatever happened to the one about whales and hyperspace? And now, finally, you manage to turn up with a book that contains answers to some of our kind's most belabored questions about existence, and I can't even read it?" Lans took the criticism stoically. It helped that the World Leader had the deepest pools of green-gray for irises. "This is why I've chosen to dissolve your Ministry, Lans. Effective next cycle, you'll be shut down."
"Are you sure that's a good idea, World Leader? You've already made some treacherous waves after shutting down the Ministries of Health, Renewable Energy, and Occupation. Are you sure shutting down the next most popular agency in the world will grant you any praise?"
"Lans, when I want an editorial, I'll have the Engelton Broadcasting Company write it. Now get over here and open this damn book."
"Right away, sir," said Lans with a grin. Lans pulled out a comically-large key and unhooked the book's latch. "I just have one question for you."
The World Leader whisked through the book's pages like a toddler with his favorite picture book. "What?" said the World Leader without looking up.
"Where did Napoleon keep his chickens?" As he read, the World Leader's angry expression turned to a blank one, and then one of unfettered and irrational joy.
"In a coup de grace."
The World Leader burst out laughing.
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